bullying_begone

Today, I want to discuss the aftermath that a lot of former victims and bullies are going through as well as ways that have helped them on the road to recovery. For some victims and former bullies, the road to recovery is short lived. For others, it's not. Regardless how long it takes, my first recommendation is DO NOT RUSH IT. There is no absolute set time that you have to get over being bullied or bullying others. The same is said for any trauma or heartache someone is going through.

My second recommendation is to keep in mind (which I've stressed before on here in the past and I will continue to do so in the future) is that EACH experience is different, which means the situation will be handled differently too. This isn't only common with bullying. It's typical with everything else that life throws at us. While solution 1 may work for person A, may not work for person B. For example, I don't think a lot of people would be too keen on using physical violence as a way to handle their problem of being bullied if they aren't being physically abused in the first place.

With all of that said, for former victims and bullies...What aftermath have you developed because of the bullying? What solutions or coping mechanisms have you used to deal with the aftermath? How long have you been on the road to recovery, or it took you to recover completely?

*Note: This post will be public because this post may help non-members with bullying and dealing with the after effects. If you're someone that's weary about what the public will see, be careful of what you write about.

ETA: Know that there may be trigger warnings if you read the comments of suicide and abuse as people relay their personal experinces to what happened to them after they were bullied.

Warning:Trigger warnings for suicide and verbal abuse

Rachel Ehmke, a 13-year-old seventh grader in Mantorville, Minn., died April 29 after hanging herself at her home. The months leading up to the tragedy were a whirlwind of peer abuse instances, her parents say.

Now following Rachel's Friday funeral that was met with widespread community condolences, Rick and Mary Ehmke are speaking out against the bullying they say their daughter endured at Kasson/Mantorville Middle School and online.

I'm hoping that this will lead to Minnesota changing their anti-bullying laws a bit as well as making those kids that drove Rachel to suicide think more about how they treat others. I don't think any of them were expecting her to kill herself (then again, most people don't...but that's what happens when something like bullying gets downplayed). I just find it fucked up that the person that sent that email about her trying to get her to leave that school wasn't even a student there.

I know the subject has come up before about BBG being present at other sites. As of right now, BBG is only at Live Journal and Dreamwidth (the DW link is on the userpage). It's not on Twitter and Tublar as I don't have an account there.

( Regarding Facebook )

So, what am I getting at? If you have an account at any of these places (or places I didn't even mention) and there isn't an anti-bullying community there, feel free to create a sister community of BBG at that site. It doesn't have to be called Bullying_BeGone. It can be "No_More_Bullying" or "Pro-AntiBullying"...whatever you want if you don't want to use BBG. You can say that your community on the site you put it on is a sister-community of BBG of Live Journal and I (as well as management) will endorse your community on our userinfo as you endorse this community on your community's userinfo (I will do the same thing with the DW community). If you do decide to create an anti-bullying community with the same name as this one (which will definitely make it a sister community), I would be highly appreciative if you credit me creating the original BBG (as this community is the original BBG). You can use the same userinfo on your community's page too. Once you make your community, let me know the url so I can post it on the userinfo page of this community and DW.

From the time she was a toddler, Abby Mahoney's parents knew she was different. She could name 200 dinosaurs by age 3, and offered up detailed theories about why they became extinct.

Abby also had difficulty making friends. And teachers didn't understand why an intelligent child would crawl under her desk while the other kids sat in a circle reading a book.

"She talked like a little professor. A lot of people remarked how amazing it was she was so brilliant," said Abby's mom, Patricia. "It took us awhile to figure out that the reason she had difficulty relating to her peers was that she had Asperger's."

Children with Asperger's syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder, can be highly intelligent but have trouble reading social cues, may display repetitive behaviors or restricted interests, and often have an intense need to adhere to certain schedules or rituals.

As she got older, Abby's inability to fit in made her a target for bullying. When they weren't ignoring her, other kids in her Baltimore school laughed at her or teased her relentlessly.

"It's really painful to watch your child being hurt in this way," Patricia Mahoney said. "For kids with Asperger's, it's part of their disability to not be able to navigate the social world of typical people, so their disability is being preyed upon."

Abby is far from alone. About one in 88 U.S. children is estimated to have autism, a developmental disorder that can cause mild to severe difficulties with communication and social interaction. And nearly two-thirds of U.S children with an autism spectrum disorder have been bullied at some point -- according to a recent survey of nearly 1,200 parents by the Kennedy Krieger Institute's Interactive Autism Network.

( More )

Source

I thought I share the article that was mentioned in the last entry:

Siouxland lost a young life to a senseless, shameful tragedy last week. By all accounts, Kenneth Weishuhn was a kind-hearted, fun-loving teenage boy, always looking to make others smile. But when the South O'Brien High School 14-year-old told friends he was gay, the harassment and bullying began. It didn't let up until he took his own life.

Sadly, Kenneth's story is far from unique. Boys and girls across Iowa and beyond are targeted every day. In this case sexual orientation appears to have played a role, but we have learned a bully needs no reason to strike. No sense can be made of these actions.

Now our community and region must face this stark reality: We are all to blame. We have not done enough. Not nearly enough.

This is not a failure of one group of kids, one school, one town, one county or one geographic area. Rather, it exposes a fundamental flaw in our society, one that has deep-seated roots. Until now, it has been too difficult, inconvenient -- maybe even painful -- to address. But we can't keep looking away.

( More )

It is the business of all of us. More specifically, it is our responsibility. Our mandate.

If we're honest with ourselves, we will acknowledge our community has yet to view bullying in quite this way. It's well past time to do so.

Stand up. Be heard. And don't back down. Together, we can put a stop to bullying.

Source

As to what I think about the article...well said :)

From here:
In a rare and forceful act of advocacy, an Iowa newspaper devoted the entire front page of its Sunday edition to an anti-bullying editorial after a gay teen committed suicide.

( More )

Andy Marra, a spokesman for the national anti-bullying group GLSEN, said the Journal's decision makes "complete sense."

"Public education is absolutely vital to addressing bullying and harassment in schools," he said, adding that community pressure could push schools to do more.

"Discrimination, bullying, stereotyping - Its wrong - We are all equal - Enough said", From "Wisdom of Words" on Facebook

( The pic )

I already posted this on FB, and thought I would share it here. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

At the moment, I would like to have another moderator to help me moderate the community's sister group on Dreamwidth. This isn't because the community is active, but because I'm not active on there like I am here on Live Journal.

So, if you would like to moderate the community and you are very active on Dreamwidth (like if you check it out on a weekly basis rather than what I do...once every few weeks or a month), then let me know. All you would have to do is keep an eye on the moderation que to approve or reject posts. Would really appreciate the help :)

I'm going to be missing in action a lot this week because I'm going back to the US tomorrow as well as going away on a small vacation with my folks from March 7th to March 11th.

If you have any concerns or there's trouble, you can message one of the maintainers or go to bbg_mods to address the situation (comments are screened there). They will try to help you with any concern you have. If you rather have me deal with the situation, I won't be able to assist in your situation until March 11th.